Without the threat of boredom, I’m BORING

Hey there, college is making me dull

Sometimes I just have to voice my crooked thoughts somewhere and I don’t want to harass my roommates more than necessary.  I miss the good planet of sun too. I am so busy I don’t even have time to play tag by myself in the backyard anymore. I take a ridiculous amount of showers. I make pot roasts. I buy wall decor. I AM TOO DOMESTICATED. Sometimes it’s hard to feel like I’m doing anything real here. Nothing needs me to survive. Hours of work only manifests itself in letter symbols and pieces of paper. I can’t see any change. The profs yell “run hamster run” so I keep running. Yet, I know this is necessary for me to become a real renaissance man. This liberal arts place is really rounding me out and I don’t mean the proverbial freshman 15. Well, maybe it did actually I forget freshman year was weird. I think someone drugged me for both semesters. But, THEREFORE, FURTHERMORE, THUS SAYETH I am fluent in sculpture and golf. The latter I am not so proud of because I wasn’t a natural. The prior catalyzed my magnum opus, my happiest grand slam achievement in life– my final in sculpture 101 entitled “type two diabetes.” The syringes are meant to be insulin. I think I was going for “American consumerism is bad and leads to health issues. Get up! Repent of your gluttony!” I will not consider my thousands of dollar bills wasted even if this is the only thing I have to show for my 4 years of education. This A- is inscribed in my heart.

But yeah I’ve learned other stuff in college too but I just can’t remember right now. Mostly college has taught me how to stop being a big dumb fool in front of people (less often) and I think that’s what is important–being normal and kind and getting married before your hips go bad and having children and being able to afford a nice burial plot right next to the oak tree and my dead aunt Bernice. Have you ever checked into how expensive it is to dispose of your corpse? Yeah! I know it! A lot of money!

That was dismal. I am an optimist. Forget I said that I don’t mean it! I’m not sorry, I mean, I mean it. I mean, I’m mean>? am I mean? Not all the time or in ways that I am conscious of.

Looking up, seeing all these studious kids in the library, I feel guilty for using up precious time to write such a frivolous thing. But I am a frivolous girl. I love rainboots and candles, and candles. I like candles. I like to buy them. I like to feel them. I like to smell them. They smell so good. I wish they tasted good.

well

Im still in the library

The lib

The jolly book cave

OH THE GUILT OF breathing or giving my head a good scratch because that generates sound and sound is DISTRACTING and these students are studying! Blondie just gave me the evil eye for giggling at this silly pointless procrastination. HEY BLONDIE, BABY. oh bubs….. I wish to pat you patronizingly on the head and feed you some sunflower seeds. One. By one. I should make friends with blondie she is studying biology. I could learn from her. Maybe she can teach me how to deal with stress better.

xoxoxoxooxoxoxooxoxx

Rebecca Davis