Before I met my husband, I was beginning to like the idea of me being single with no friends, living a Thoreauvian kind of life by myself in a sheep wagon: writing poems about dirt, doing stand up comedy for my border collie, not worrying about the negative side effects that inevitably come from being a member of society. I was at peace with not finding a mate. And also, I admit, wanting to be single forever out of rebellion to the Church’s tendency to hyper-glorify marriage over singleness. Plus, I had always found dating rather odd, anxiety inducing, and never ultimately rewarding—like forcing puzzle pieces together that weren’t even part of the same puzzle. Inorganic. Once I became enchanted with rugged individualism, that’s when I met Nathan and he ruined the sheep wagon dream—which is good. I would not have done well inside that lonely dream.
Have you ever read the book “Sheep” by Archer Gilfillan? It’s a fun read about Archer’s experience living in a sheep wagon, trying to become a sheep man. It’s been awhile since I read it, but I do remember how egotistical and bitter towards other people this guy was. Plus, he put random Latin in the book everywhere. I hate it when authors do this without any reason other than to say, “Hey I know Latin!” Which he also explicitly states several times…
People who make a life out of isolation tend to be bitter towards society—perhaps it’s because interacting with others takes practice. Complete solitude makes one rusty and we typically don’t like things we’re not good at. But it’s also really easy to hate people; we’re all infected with normalized self absorption, greed, slander, everything that’s always, always been a problem for our species because the universal heart of man wants what it wants. The medium to these things changes but our desires never do. That’s why I can read an ancient text from a thousand years ago and feel the author knows me better than my closest friend.
BUT society is also so full of goodness – living breathing divine image bearers of God. I like how Thomas Merton expresses this, “It is a glorious destiny to be a member of the human race…and if only everybody could realize this! But it cannot be explained. There is no way of telling people that they are all walking around shining like the sun.”
But Emerson barks back, “Society is a joint-stock company, in which the members agree, for the better securing of his bread to each shareholder, to surrender the liberty and culture of the eater. The virtue in most request is conformity. Self-reliance is its aversion. It loves not realities and creators, but names and customs.” This sounds nice, catchy. Maybe even better than Merton, but in reality it isn’t fully true. Sure, some people (especially if you’re in high school) will try to force you into a safe box of predictability. I think it’s not so much other people who do the boxing, but ourselves. Good people, and there are a lot of them, will not demand conformity from you. I certainly don’t think God does. I think God likes us spontaneous and unique just like God is. God could have chosen whatever he wanted to bring about his will, but instead he chose a dejected slave population that grew into a whole redeemed world through small town, “what good comes from Nazareth?” Jesus. In terms of deities, I’d say that’s pretty unique. If God wants to work in and through human beings, it’s probably best to be around them, weird as they are and hurtful as they can be.
I was in denial when I thought I could hack it on my own. Maybe I could, but it would not be as good as it is now: with my fellow human being, watching Ink Masters, procrastinating grading papers.
Sentel Schreier 
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