Gospel

“This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.” 1 John 4:10

I’m still trying to figure out what happened when I died,

That night I stopped trying to live.

I knew I was dying for weeks,

I couldn’t look in the mirror,

every sin exposed in my skin,

my past played out nonstop in my head.

I would have died sooner if not for my pride lying me into living.

That night I hit the floor. It hurt so badly, knowing I was nothing without you, I gave up.

You took my body in your arms

my broken bones

my dust

and I can’t understand how,

how and why you raised me from the dead

I only gave up because I couldn’t win,

and not because I loved you.

but you loved me when I was dying,

when I hated you,

And I just don’t get that.