Is growing up simply the process of discovering how awful seemingly redeemable people are?
Our ranch has gone through an unbelievable amount of hired help with each person usually only lasting up to a year. My dad is a sucker for a backslid soul that has allegedly found God, changed completely, has no money, and wants a new life on the good old prairie. I love him for this want to make a difference and help people but his compassion often leads to some of his greatest woes.
Let me fill you in on how truly awful these people have been.
Old Mark: made pancakes in front of me when I was legit starving eating canned spinach for breakfast. Anger issues. Not nice.
Butch: alcoholic. I’m certain he kept family heirlooms in his abundant facial hair. Frequent jailbird. Sad.
Shandy: crazy. Kept a sheep in her house. Voice like sandpaper. Quit without telling us. Girl was cray I don’t even want to talk about it.
Norman: Im convinced he never took a shower nor brushed his teeth during his time here. Found a girlfriend on farmersonly.com who moved out to the ranch and stole a freaking clock. Who STEALS A CLOCK??? Bad mouthed my dad to me. Oh and burnt up the engine on our semi.
Robert: pathological liar. shot himself in the foot to keep wife from leaving him, rolled our truck down a hill, got drunk and ran the tractor into the barn, apologizes profusely, used religion as buffer, got our brand tattooed on his bicep to prove loyalty(wtffffff) illegitimate children galore, stole tons of cash. Tried to sell our truck to a gang member. Got in a fist fight with my dad. I think he’s in the state penitentiary, at least was last time I heard.
Ryan: DOUCHE BAG. THEIF. LIAR. IDIOT. MISOGYNISTIC RED LITTLE MAN BABY. “THAT CUNT WHORE WOULDNT PUT OUT” STOLE MY TELEVISION SET. “I DONT DRINK WATER BECAUSE IT TASTES LIKE NOTHING” Is in jail now. I have negative hope for him crawling out of his washed up cowboy tobacco bathtub anytime soon.
James: I could go on forever but let me get to the latest failed employee. This one is actually disheartening. I liked the guy (PLATONICALLY)(I don’t know what love is) He was the first ranch hand to intrigue me and not just be another person I have to pretend to be nice to while they run their mouth about ropes and women and beer and “that one time I got so drunk that I…” stories accompanied by sexist racial slurs. Rylee actually had intellectual value. He was crazy into conspiracy theories, odd books, and languages. Tried to convince me of just about everything in the book from a flat earth to aliens to Russian weather control via chem trails. On our long cattle trailing days we talked lots a religion (he decided to team up with Jesus after hallucinating about the apocalypse while on acid.) He took 2 hours to show me his rock collection which was huge, each rock with a story. Everyday he wore a winter hat in the dead of summer to hold down his long red mane. Maybe I had low expectations from everyone else who made summers hell before, but he sort of fascinated me. But like most people who have sort of fascinated me, he left and stole stuff. He stole my aluminum cans I was going to recycle.??
I’m not mad at this fellow, obviously he’s got some things to work out. Maybe a possible aluminum can fetish. My loathing starts with myself for putting hope and pinning potential on people, allowing myself over and over to be duped by hypocrites posing as friends. I’m done thinking people aren’t in life for themselves. No one actually cares. They just use you until you’re uninteresting or you don’t possess anything you can deny them anymore. This is why acting mysterious helps. People keep you cuz they think you have this life elixir in your backpocket that will cure them then one day they’re like “actually I don’t think you’re all that bye but so and so might be.let me basque in their sun ya dee ya da.” There are some people who may fool themselves into thinking they like you or love you without selfish motives but NOPE. At least Rylee left his Buick mug in the chevy. I’ve always coveted that. I love Buicks. Bye ❤
Sentel Schreier 
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